When a family member has been exposed to cult-like behavior

One of the most traumatic events a family can face is a family member who has been exposed to cult-like behavior.
Sometimes well meaning people serving the Lord may find themselves in a social group dynamic that begins to take on cult-like practices of control, manipulation and isolation.
How do you know when you are in one of these type of groups?
In the wikipedia.org archives the following model is recognized. Quoting that material we see the pattern.
The "BITE" model (standing for Behavior, Information, Thought, and Emotion control) is Steven Hassan's model of the patterns that he says are used by harmful cults."[18]
When you are told that you are to no longer
associate with people that you've grown to love or you will be marked. Even though you know these people intimately, you know their heart and you are friends, suddenly and for no reason they are expelled just for knowing someone or saying something that does not suit the fancy of someone in the group who is controlling people. A sense that if you associate with the people that are "out" of the group will bring a reprisal and even your own expulsion. These are well crafted control techniques that play on people's sense of belonging to something greater, fear of rejection, guilt, their need for belonging and being accepted and the list goes on.
These are evidences of cult-like practices. All of these are repeated patterns seen in cults like "The People's Temple" with Rev. Jim Jones back in the 1970's. Other cults demostrate this type of behavior. It is made to seem biblically based, but the real root is typically based on a fear, control, manipulation, ambition, greed and ego. No amount of quotes from the bible can justify actions undertaken by such groups.

In Christianity, you see a lot of this type of behavior in non-denominational churches that are not tied organizationally to a hierarchy of oversight beyond the leaders just in the church. If those at the top do not submit to a board of elders that are not under the influence of the "leaders" then there is an environment for abusive, cult-like behavior to develop. "Under the influence" meaning that the board of elders do not sit under the teaching regularly and therefore are not subject to manipulation of the bully pulpit. While all people should dwell in unity, the checks and balances of the organizational structure are necessary to prevent arbitrary actions. The elders should themselves be experienced, seasoned ministers who have lead churches independent of the one that they are overseeing.
Such a board is not easily influenced by the charismatic leader, but have the organizational authority established in the charter to correct and direct the leader(s). Without such structure in a group, there is absolutely no guarantee that such abusive, cult-like social behavior patterns will not happen. No amount of charismatic apologetics can defend the solo effort, not even the loose association with the prominent public figures. If the relationship of correction is based on the leader at the top being "willing" to submit, then there is no foundation of accountability. The "willingness" can change from moment to moment and be actions can be explained away by those who would aspire to such dishonesty.

The manipulative leader counts on the factors of trust and people's lack of general knowledge on proper organizational structure to fulfill their goals.
The goals may be noble and even biblically based, but the end does not justify the means.

Cult-like behavior is not based true biblical expression of faith.
Faith comes from living a life of proper perspective which happens when you accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. Beginning the journey of having no other god but God Himself in your life! Seeking first His Kingdom and His righteousness and understanding that He has seated you together with Him in heavenly places. Being a part of God's family has unique benefits! You see, perspective positions us to take on God's nature, have vision and operate in faith which is always expressed, if it is alive, as genuine love for people and especially for those in the family of God!
Faith without an action of obedience that is aligned with His nature is rendered inoperative. His nature is ALWAYS love for people and especially for those in the family of God. There is no place for cult-like behavior in any church or christian ministry.

The wikipedia.org site has some more information for those who have found themself or loved ones in such a group. Here's a quote from that website,
"The public generally hears criticism of an alleged cult from the mass media, which often quotes law enforcement sources, public interest researchers, lawyers involved in civil litigation involving the group in question, and anti-cult spokespersons as well as persons with direct experience. Those with direct experience provide the foundation for most criticisms of the quality of life within the alleged cult and for much of the description of controversial types of member behavior.
Such primary sources of criticism may include: parents, relatives, and close friends of alleged cult members (who often have carefully observed personality changes in their loved one which they rightly or wrongly interpret as changes for the worse); victims of scams perpetrated on the general public by a minority of cults; people who go to recruitment-oriented meetings and then back away as a result of their perceptions of such events; persons raised in groups considered cults who left after coming of age; and former adult members.
Usually, the most dramatic allegations, as well as the most systematic and detailed ones, will come from adult former members and to a lesser extent from persons who were raised in the in groups considered cults, although a fair percentage of former members in these categories are not strongly critical of their former spiritual or ideological home. The former members who voice strong criticisms are termed "apostates" by some scholars. But this term is regarded as pejorative by other scholars. One scholar who uses the term "apostate" frequently is Gordon Melton, who in turn has been labelled a cult apologist by scholars (Kent, Krebs) strongly critical of cults.
The allegations of former members include: sexual abuse by the leader; failed promises and failed prophecy; causing suicides through neglect or abuse; failing to allow an ex-cult parent to have access to his or her child or children being raised within the cult; leaders who neither admit nor apologize for mistakes; false, irrational, or even contradictory teachings; exclusivism; deception in recruitment (by using "front groups"); pressure to engage in illegal financial activity or manipulative sexual behavior; demands to turn over all (or an excessive amount) of one's assets and income; demands for total immersion in the religious mission, ideological cause or day to day organizational activities of the group at the expense of career, education, family, and friends; and more.
The role of former members in the controversy surrounding cults has been widely studied by social scientists. Former members in some cases become public opponents against their former group. The former members' motivations, the roles they play in the anti-cult movement, the validity of their testimony, and the kinds of narratives they construct, are controversial with some scholars who suspect that at least some of the narratives are colored by a need of self-justification, seeking to reconstruct their own past and to excuse their former affiliations, while blaming those who were formerly their closest associates,[16] and that hostile ex-members would invariably shade the truth and blow out of proportion minor incidents, turning them into major incidents.[17]. Other scholars conclude that testimonies of former members are at least as accurate as testimonies of current members.
Scholars that challenge the validity of critical former members' testimonies as the basis for studying a religious group include David G. Bromley, Anson Shupe, Brian R. Wilson, and Lonnie Kliever. Bromley and Shupe, who studied the social influences on such testimonies, assert that the apostate in his current role is likely to present a caricature of his former group and that the stories of critical ex-members who defect from groups that are subversive (defined as groups with few allies and many opponents) tend to have the form of "captivity narratives" (i.e. the narratives depict the stay in the group as involuntary). Wilson introduces the atrocity story that is rehearsed by the apostate to explain how, by manipulation, coercion, or deceit, he was recruited to a group that he now condemns. Introvigne found in his study of the New Acropolis in France, that public negative testimonies and attitudes were only voiced by a minority of the ex-members, who he describes as becoming "professional enemies" of the group they leave. Kliever, when asked by the Church of Scientology to give his opinion on the reliability of apostate accounts of their former religious beliefs and practices, writes that these dedicated opponents present a distorted view of the new religions, and cannot be regarded as reliable informants by responsible journalists, scholars, or jurists. He claims that the reason for the lack of reliability of apostates is due to the traumatic nature of disaffiliation that he compares to a divorce and also due the influence of the anti-cult movement even on those apostates who were not deprogrammed or received exit counseling. Scholars and psychologists who tend to side more with critical former members include David C. Lane, Louis Jolyon West, Margaret Singer, Stephen A. Kent, Benjamin Beith-Hallahmi and Benjamin Zablocki. Zablocki performed an empirical study that showed that the reliability of former members is equal to that of stayers in one particular group. Philip Lucas found the same empirical results.
According to Lewis F. Carter, the reliability and validity of the testimonies of believers are influenced by the tendency to justify affiliation with the group, whereas the testimonies of former members and apostates are influenced by a variety of factors.21 Besides, the interpretative frame of members tends to change strongly upon conversion and disaffection and hence may strongly influence their narratives. Carter affirms that the degree of knowledge of different (ex-)members about their (former) group is highly diverse, especially in hierarchically organized groups. Using his experience at Rajneeshpuram (the intentional community of the followers of Rajneesh) as an example, he claims that the social influence exerted by the group may influence the accounts of ethnographers and of participant observers21. He proposes a method he calls triangulation as the best method to study groups, by utilizing three accounts: those of believers, apostates, and ethnographers. Carter asserts that such methodology is difficult to put into practice. 21 Daniel Carson Johnson22 writes that even the triangulation method rarely succeeds in making assertions with certitude.21
James Richardson contends that there are a large number of cults, and a tendency among scholars to make unjustified generalizations about them based on a select sample of observations of life in such groups or the testimonies of (ex-)members. According to Richardson, this tendency is responsible for the widely divergent opinions about cults among scholars and social scientists.24
Eileen Barker (2001) wrote that critical former members of cults complain that academic observers only notice what the leadership wants them to see.23"
See also Apostasy in new religious movements, and Apostates and Apologists.

If you would like to read more on the subject the following bibliography of resources can help. Quoting from wikipedia.org here are the resources:
[edit] Bibliography

[edit] Books
Bromley, David et al.: Cults, Religion, and Violence, 2002, ISBN 0-521-66898-0
Melton, Gordon: Encyclopedic Handbook of Cults in America, 1992, ISBN 0-8153-1140-0
House, Wayne: Charts of Cults, Sects, and Religious Movements, 2000, ISBN 0-310-38551-2
Kramer, Joel and Alstad, Diane: The Guru Papers: Masks of Authoritarian Power, 1993.
Lalich, Janja: Bounded Choice: True Believers and Charismatic Cults, 2004, ISBN 0-520-24018-9
Landau Tobias, Madeleine et al. : Captive Hearts, Captive Minds, 1994, ISBN 0-89793-144-0
Lewis, James R. The Oxford Handbook of New Religious Movements Oxford University Press, 2004
Lewis, James R. Odd Gods: New Religions and the Cult Controversy, Prometheus Books, 2001
Martin, Walter et al.: The Kingdom of the Cults, 2003, ISBN 0-7642-2821-8
Oakes, Len: Prophetic Charisma: The Psychology of Revolutionary Religious Personalities, 1997, ISBN 0-8156-0398-3 Excerpts
Singer, Margaret Thaler: Cults in Our Midst: The Continuing Fight Against Their Hidden Menace, 1992, ISBN 0-7879-6741-6 Excerpts
Tourish, Dennis: 'On the Edge: Political Cults Right and Left, 2000, ISBN 0-7656-0639-9
Zablocki, Benjamin et al.: Misunderstanding Cults: Searching for Objectivity in a Controversial Field, 2001, ISBN 0-8020-8188-6
Barker, E. (1989) New Religious Movements: A Practical Introduction, London, HMSO
Enroth, Ronald. (1992) Churches that Abuse, Zondervan, ISBN 0-310-53290-6
Phoenix, Lena: "The Heart of a Cult", 2006, ISBN 0-9785483-0-2

[edit] Articles
Langone, Michael: Cults: Questions and Answers [23]
Lifton, Robert Jay: Cult Formation, The Harvard Mental Health Letter, February 1991 [24]
Moyers. Jim: Psychological Issues of Former Members of Restrictive Religious Groups [25]
Richmond, Lee J. :When Spirituality Goes Awry: Students in Cults, Professional School Counseling, June 2004 [26]
Shaw, Daniel: Traumatic abuse in cults [27]
Rosedale, Herbert et al.: On Using the Term "Cult" [28]
Van Hoey, Sara: Cults in Court The Los Angeles Lawyer, February 1991 [29]
Zimbardo, Philip: What messages are behind today's cults?, American Psychological Association Monitor, May 1997 [30]
Aronoff, Jodi; Lynn, Steven Jay; Malinosky, Peter. Are cultic environments psychologically harmful?, Clinical Psychology Review, 2000, Vol. 20 #1 pp. 91-111
Rothstein, Mikael, Hagiography and Text in the Aetherius Society: Aspects of the Social Construction of a Religious Leader, an article which appeared in the book New Religions in a Postmodern World edited by Mikael Rothstein and Reender Kranenborg, RENNER Studies in New religions, Aarhus University press, ISBN 87-7288-748-6
Phoenix, Lena: "Thoughts on the Word Cult" [31]

[edit] References
Note 1: William Chambers, Michael Langone, Arthur Dole & James Grice, The Group Psychological Abuse Scale: A Measure of the Varieties of Cultic Abuse, Cultic Studies Journal, 11(1), 1994. The definition of a cult given above is based on a study of 308 former members of 101 groups.
Note 2: Barker, E. The Ones Who Got Away: People Who Attend Unification Church Workshops and Do Not Become Moonies. In: Barker E, ed. Of Gods and Men: New Religious Movements in the West'. Macon, Ga. : Mercer University Press; 1983. ISBN 0-86554-095-0
Note 4: Galanter M. Unification Church ('Moonie') dropouts: psychological readjustment after leaving a charismatic religious group, American Journal of Psychiatry. 1983;140(8):984-989.
Note 6: Singer, M with Lalich, J (1995). Cults in Our Midst, San Francisco: Jossey-Bass. ISBN 0-7879-0051-6
Note 8: West, L. J., & Langone, M. D. (1985). Cultism: A conference for scholars and policy makers. Summary of proceedings of the Wingspread conference on cultism, September 9–11. Weston, MA: American Family Foundation.
Note 9: Barrett, D. V. The New Believers - A survey of sects, cults and alternative religions 2001 UK, Cassell & Co. ISBN 0-304-35592-5
Note 10: Barker, E. (1984), The Making of a Moonie, p.147, Oxford: Basil Blackwell. ISBN 0-631-13246-5
Note 11: Galanter, Marc M.D.(Editor), (1989), Cults and new religious movements: a report of the committee on psychiatry and religion of the American Psychiatric Association, ISBN 0-89042-212-5
Note 12: Hadden, Jeffrey K. SOC 257: New Religious Movements Lectures, University of Virginia, Department of Sociology.
Note 13: Bader, Chris & A. Demaris, A test of the Stark-Bainbridge theory of affiliation with religious cults and sects. Journal for the Scientific Study of Religion, 35, 285-303. (1996)
Note 14: Hadden, J and Bromley, D eds. (1993), The Handbook of Cults and Sects in America. Greenwich, CT: JAI Press, Inc., pp. 75-97.
Note 15: Kranenborg, Reender Dr. (Dutch language) Sekten... gevaarlijk of niet?/Cults... dangerous or not? published in the magazine Religieuze bewegingen in Nederland/Religious movements in the Netherlands nr. 31 Sekten II by the Free university Amsterdam (1996) ISSN 0169-7374 ISBN 90-5383-426-5
Note 16: F. Derks and the professor of psychology of religion Jan van der Lans The post-cult syndrome: Fact or Fiction?, paper presented at conference of Psychologists of Religion, Catholic University Nijmegen, 1981, also appeared in Dutch language as Post-cult-syndroom; feit of fictie?, published in the magazine Religieuze bewegingen in Nederland/Religious movements in the Netherlands nr. 6 pages 58-75 published by the Free university Amsterdam (1983)
Note 17: Dr. Zablocki, Benjamin [32] Paper presented to a conference, Cults: Theory and Treatment Issues, May 31, 1997 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.
Note 18: Duhaime, Jean (Université de Montréal), Les Témoigagnes de Convertis et d'ex-Adeptes (English: The testimonies of converts and former followers, an article which appeared in the book New Religions in a Postmodern World edited by Mikael Rothstein and Reender Kranenborg, RENNER Studies in New religions, Aarhus University press, 2003, ISBN 87-7288-748-6
Note 20: Amy Ryan: New Religions and the Anti-Cult Movement: Online Resource Guide in Social Sciences (2000) [33]
Note 21: Carter, Lewis, F. Lewis, Carriers of Tales: On Assessing Credibility of Apostate and Other Outsider Accounts of Religious Practices published in the book The Politics of Religious Apostasy: The Role of Apostates in the Transformation of Religious Movements edited by David G. Bromley Westport, CT, Praeger Publishers, (1998). ISBN 0-275-95508-7
Note 22: Johnson, Daniel Carson (1998) Apostates Who Never were: the Social Construction of Absque Facto Apostate Narratives, published in the book The Politics of Religious Apostasy: The Role of Apostates in the Transformation of Religious Movements edited by David G. Bromley Westport, CT, Praeger Publishers, (1998). ISBN 0-275-95508-7
Note 23: Barker, E. (2001), Watching for Violence: A Comparative Analysis of the Roles of Five Types of Cult-Watching Groups, available online
Note 24: Richardson, James T. (1989) The Psychology of Induction: A Review and Interpretation, article that appeared in the book edited by Marc Galanter M.D. (1989) Cults and new religious movements: a report of the committee on psychiatry and religion of the American Psychiatric Association ISBN 0-89042-212-5
Note 25: Hall, John R. and Philip Schuyler (1998), Apostasy, Apocalypse, and religious violence: An Exploratory comparison of Peoples Temple, the Branch Davidians, and the Solar Temple, in the book The Politics of Religious Apostasy: The Role of Apostates in the Transformation of Religious Movements edited by David G. Bromley Westport, CT, Praeger Publishers, (1998). ISBN 0-275-95508-7, page 145 "The tendency to treat Peoples Temple as the cultus classicus headed by Jim Jones, psychotic megaliomanic par excellence is still with us, like most myths, because it has a grain of truth to it. "
Note 26: McLemee, Scott Rethinking Jonestown on the salon.com website "If Jones' People's Temple wasn't a cult, then the term has no meaning." [34]
Note 27: Barker, E., Standing at the Cross-Roads: Politics of Marginality in "Subversive Organizations" article in the book The Politics of Religious Apostasy: The Role of Apostates in the Transformation of Religious Movements edited by David G. Bromley Westport, CT, Praeger Publishers, (1998). ISBN 0-275-95508-7
Note 28: Edby, Lloyd (1999), Testimony presented to the Task Force to Investigate Cult Activity on the Campuses of Maryland Public Higher-Education Institutions [35]
Note 29: Lane, David C., The Guru Has No Turban: Part 2 [36]
Note 30: Langone, Michael, "Clinical Update on Cults", Psychiatric Times July 1996 Vol. XIII Issue 7 [37]
Note 31: Miller, Timothy, Religious Movements in the United States: An Informal Introduction (2003) [38]
Note 32: Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary entry for cult [39]
Note 33: Bowman, Robert M., A Biblical Guide To Orthodoxy And Heresy, 1994, [40]
Note 34: Casino. Bruce J., Defining Religion in American Law, 1999, [41]
Note 35: Langone, Michael, On Using the Term "Cult", [42]
Note 36: BBC News 20 May, 2000: Sect leavers have mental problems [43]
Note 37: Giambalvo, Carol, Post-cult problems [44]
Note 38: Ross, Rick, Ethical standards [45]
Note 39: Burks, Ronald, Cognitive Impairment in Thought Reform Environments [46]
Note 40: Kent, Stephen A. Brainwashing in Scientology's Rehabilitation Project Force (RPF), 1997 [47]
Note 41: CDC Aum Shinrikyo: Once and Future Threat?[48]
Note 42: Aum Shinrikyo (Japan, cultists)[49]
Note 43: Homeland Defense Business Unit[50]
^ Examples of contemporary British "cult" usage: Daily Telegraph; Scotsman Example of contemporary British "sect" usage: "Before beginning counselling the counsellor needs to be sure that it was indeed a cult and not a sect in which the person was enmeshed. A sect may be described as a spin-off from an established religion or quite eclectic, but it does not use techniques of mind control on its membership."[UK-based Cult Information Centre]
^ Stark, Rodney and Bainbridge, Willia S. A Theory of Religion ", Rutgers University Press, ISBN 0-8135-2330-3
^ Barker, E. New Religious Movements: A Practical Introduction (1990), Bernan Press, ISBN 0-11-340927-3
^ Wallis, Roy The Road to Total Freedom A Sociological analysis of Scientology (1976) available online (bad scan)
^ Wallis, Roy Scientology: Therapeutic Cult to Religious Sect abstract only (1975)
^ The Definitional Ambiguity of "Cult" and ICSA’s Mission
^ Jenkins, Philip. Decade of Nightmares: The End of the Sixties and the Making of Eighties America. Oxford University Press, USA.ISBN13: 9780195178661
^ Bob Pitt, Review of Dennis Tourish and Tim Wohlforth, On the Edge: Political Cults Right and Left. What Next Journal (online), No. 17, 2000 [1]
^ Anthony D, Robbins T, Barrie-Anthony S. Cult and Anticult Totalism: Reciprocal Escalation and Violence. Terrorism and Political Violence, Volume 14, Special Issue 1, Spring 2002, pp. 211-240.
^ Bibliography compiled by www.cointelpro.org
^ Sherwood, Carlton (1991) Inquisition: The Persecution and Prosecution of the Reverend Sun Myung Moon. Washington, D.C.: Regnery (ISBN 0-89526-532-X)
^ Circulaire du 27 mai 2005 relative à la lutte contre les dérives sectaires
^ A discussion and list of ACM (anti-cult movement) groups can be found at http://www.religioustolerance.org/acm.htm.
^ Bioterrorism in History - 1984: Rajneesh Cult Attacks Local Salad Bar, WBUR
^ [http://www.rickross.com/reference/rajneesh/rajneesh8.html AP The Associated Press/October 19, 2001
^ Wilson, Bryan R. Apostates and New Religious Movements, Oxford, England, 1994
^ Melton, Gordon J., Brainwashing and the Cults: The Rise and Fall of a Theory, 1999
^ Hassan, Steven (2000) Releasing the Bonds: Empowering People to Think for Themselves. Aitan Publishing. (ISBN 0-9670688-0-0). online version.
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